She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
