Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
