I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
