I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I think i got beer on your cat.
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