A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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