when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
