I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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