i love accidental penises.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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