You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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