wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
