We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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