I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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