Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
