Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
