woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just google imaged poop.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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