It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
