her vagine was all disorganized.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
