So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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