I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
