Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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