Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
