Sacagawea was the original milf.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
