i'm signing you up for texting rehab
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
