But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
