oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
