He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
