we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
