Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
