nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
