It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
