So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I pour the whiskey from now on
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
we're so committed to being not committed
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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