last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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