She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
