You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
