If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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