I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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