Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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