If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He felt like a one man threesome
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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