my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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