Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
