you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
