3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
where am i from again
Everything about him screamed your future.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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