You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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