she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
