Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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