i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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