Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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