Having a random hookup so left but love u
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
