Sry I called you an 8
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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