If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
