His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
