i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we're chasing vodka with high fives
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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