We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
