Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We left an ass print on the piano.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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