I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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