Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
