The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
