how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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